Love and stuff…
The Day Sky
Let us be like
Two falling stars in the day sky.
Let no one know of our sublime beauty
As we hold hands with God
Into a sacred existence that defies –
Every description of ecstasy
And love. –Hafiz
That was the poem we put on our wedding program 4 years ago today and it conjures up a beautiful image to me, both of the goal of partnership and the experience of being on the ‘inside’ of a relationship. It really does feel like 2 shooting stars in the day sky because no one can see what your trajectory really is…the world vaguely knows that you’re out there, but can’t see where exactly you are or where you’re going.
Love is complicated – four years of marriage have taught me that (not to mention the 9 years, 10 months and 22 days of relationship) …but who’s counting right? It has been so full of ups and downs, but one thing is for sure; love is our greatest gift and our greatest challenge.
For years I rolled with the ups and downs of love, knowing that patience was important and hoping that the waves might cease someday. I think I’ve given that strategy a lot of time and this year, I am trying something new. Instead of letting the crashing wave trigger some sort of defense, tensing my body and crying for mercy, I’m trying to let it swallow me whole and swirl me around… and you know what it’s teaching me? Relaxing into the force of the wave allows it to roll over me and pass. The waves may never cease, but there are a lot of good lessons just underneath them if I can face my fears head on. Okay okay, I’m being really vague here because it’s a public forum, but I think you catch my meaning.
For all its challenges, to really love someone you get to learn how to love yourself; you get to learn to be awake; you get to learn to take each day as a blessing; you get to face your deepest fears. And it’s worth it. Every moment – from agony to pure joy. Sometimes I lose sight of that because I really like calm stability and love can throw quite a wrench in that, but it’s worth it – it’s a gift from God.